Just need to save this somewhere….

The reaction of the male lead in my Chinese novel to the accusation that he is taking advantage of his female cousin: “Please, please forgive me! Dearest coz! If I had the slightest intention of taking advantage of you, may I fall into the water and be eaten up by an old bald-headed turtle! When you have become a great lady and gone at last to your final resting-place, I shall become the stone turtle that stands in front of your grave and spend the rest of eternity carrying your tombstone on my back as a punishment!”

I wholly approve of such groveling. It was clearly necessary considering men are generally ignorant of the extent and frequency of their insensitivity and should constantly strive to make amends. heh :).